/ Charles Aznavour)
My girl’s the dedicated kind
To be a doctor she’s inclined
And so she studies hard, you see
To gain her medical degree
But then at night, I must confess
Although it seems beyond belief
She whispers “Guess what’s underneath
My fingertips as they caress you?
Digestive juices, insulin
Chlorine, and calcium, and tin
Acids, and alkalis potassic!
Boron, and nickel,oxygen
Mineral salts, magnesium
Your little follicles sebacic!
Iron, and cobalt, hydrogen
Copper, and carbon, nitrogen
Some tiny grey cells you can think through
Phosphorates, proteins, manganese
And then as well as all of these
Some sulphur,sodium, and zinc too!”
My friends all enviously said
To have a doctor in my bed
Must be erotic’lly fantastic
But I’m frustrated, ‘cos’ they’re wrong
I get narrated all night long!
By medicated and scholastic love!
It’s very hard to keep my pride
Now I’ve a complex I can’t hide
For even when we talk, you see
I feel that she’s dissecting me!
It’s like a game I never win
To shut her up I kiss her, then
We pause for breath, but once again
I hear her invent’ry continue….
“The sinews, tissues, and the bones
The lungs, and liver, and hormones
Pancreas, prostate, fats, and water
Appendix, kidneys, and the spleen
The stomacxh sandwiched in between
Arteries, veins, and the aorta!
Ventricles, valves, inside the heart
The nerves that tingle every part
The blood with plasma and corpuscles
The knuckles, knees, and hips, and hands
Gall-bladder, gums, and guts, and glands
Molars, and mastication muscles...........!”
Most lovers have their special way
Poetic, brutal, straight, or gay
But my affair’s insanely comic
An educated tour-de-force!
My medicated, anatomic love!